The Difficulties of Transition
This past year found me in a lot of new situations. It found me attending my grandfather and aunt’s funerals within six months of each other and it found me quitting my job. I moved out of my house in Minneapolis, moved to Philadelphia for a new job, traveled the country for said job, then it found me moving back to Minneapolis and starting a new job back here all in the matter of 14 months. Transition was my middle name. These 14 months were some of the hardest months I had to fight through.
Transition is exhausting. It can be so paralyzing and it can be so scary. It’s lonely and heartbreaking.
Transition, to put plainly, can really suck. These past months I have struggled through transition after transition. I was ready to feel stable for once. I was ready to learn whatever lesson I was sure God was trying to teach me. I was ready to feel like my normal self again.
I felt like my pleas to God were going unheard and I was running weary. I was suffering, but I was not suffering well. Through these transitions, I felt like I was falling further away from the Lord, my relationships with friends and family were suffering, and I had stopped taking care of myself. I knew the emotions I was feeling and they felt overwhelming to confront and I knew the first steps that I needed to take to get out of this, but those too seemed daunting. Then my roommate and dear friend stepped in and spoke hard truth to me, truth that, frankly, I didn’t want to hear. But Praise be to God that she didn’t care and knew what I needed to hear.
In my transition, I wanted to be heard, I wanted to be known and I wanted to feel loved. She heard me. She knew me. She loved me. She reminded me there is beauty in the process if I am able to look beyond my circumstances and focus on Jesus.
Transition doesn’t have to exhausting, paralyzing, scary, lonely and heartbreaking; it can be exhilarating and exciting and yield such a deep beauty, but it’s all about perspective.
The question I ask myself daily in this season is: Am I choosing to live in the fear of transition or am I choosing to live in the light of Jesus? Am I continually reminding myself that the Lord shields, answers, sustains and delivers us from our circumstances (Psalm 3)? In this time of transition, it has been community that has helped me see my circumstances differently and has shown me how to suffer well in Christ. God is in the business of recreating, starting with our perspective.
“Lord, you are my lamp; the Lord illuminates my darkness.” 2 Samuel 22:29