What God Has Taught Me
I’ve put off writing my story, because I like things to be neat and pretty and finished and well… perfect. As I embarked on my possibly last first day of school this fall, I was filled with the excitement of graduating and beginning work as a Speech Language Pathologist, but also complete fear and uncertainty about my future. Throw in the messy end to a long-term relationship on Labor Day, and you have a 23-year-old girl who feels worthless, anxious, and completely overwhelmed by life.
Like so many times before in my life, I looked like I had it all together but felt like a complete train wreck of broken pieces and water works that might erupt at any minute, as I believed the same lies.
However, God has shown himself to be faithful to me over the years, as I went through intensive eating disorder treatment, dealt with extreme anxiety, and worked through relational heartbreak. Through these experiences, God has shown me that he is a healer and will glue my heart back together as many times as I need him to.
He has taught me the importance of being vulnerable and letting down my guard so that I can experience community with other believers.
He has taught me to learn into the emotional pains of life rather than running away from them or causing myself physical pain, because He can carry me through it.
He has taught me the relevance of His Word to my daily life, and how vital it is for me to replace the lies from Satan with the truth of God’s word when I am struggling or fall back into old patterns.
He has taught me that he is faithful over and over and over again.
He reassures me when I am uncertain and he holds my right hand (Psalm 73:23).
No matter how many times I think, surely I’ve done it this time- I’ve sinned too much, I’ve messed up too many times, I’ve gone too far.
God whispers in my ear, “I knew EXACTLY what I was getting myself into when I chose you, and I still chose you.” (Ephesians 1:3-6).
He tells me that I have value and beauty and worth beyond measure even at my worst moments. Thank goodness God isn’t finished with me or my story yet. I can’t wait to see the next chapter.