Baptism of Claire Boyle
Through the majority of my life I’ve felt a need to have everything just right, and I figured that if I worked hard enough I would have a perfect, shiny life. This mindset led to a huge amount of fear and worry regarding what the future outcomes would be if I let any area of my life slip out of my control. Growing up in a church-going family, I knew the consequences of not measuring up to God’s perfect standards and the thought of eternity in hell terrified me, so at a conference in middle school I accepted Jesus as my savior largely out of fear. Although I made this decision and knew I was going to heaven, through high school I didn’t find my worth in Christ, and I didn’t feel freed from the expectations of being good enough. As a result I spent a lot of energy trying to meet others’ expectations and managing my reputation in the earthly accomplishments that I placed my identity in. This need to control my surroundings and the consequent feelings of anxiety and stress persisted into college.
After joining Cru in the fall of my freshman year, I was invited to attend Hope Community Church. At Hope, the Gospel was preached week after week, and finally, one night during worship, we were singing “Let Us Love and Sing and Wonder” the words “He has washed us with His blood” finally sunk in. That night the Lord clearly revealed to me that I didn’t have to keep trying to be good enough because Jesus lived a perfect life so that I don’t have to. Jesus came to die for me because He deeply loves me and thinks that I am worth it, even with all my imperfections. Because of His sacrifice for me, I no longer have to live in fear of controlling my future because I know the Lord has a perfect plan for me.
In this truth I have found an incredible sense of freedom and peace, and I wholeheartedly believe that God is guiding me to where I need to be. Since placing my trust in Christ, my efforts no longer revolve around meeting the expectations of this world, but I delight in walking with and glorifying my Savior.
I am choosing to be baptized today because March marks three years of having a personal relationship with Jesus. Additionally, because I came to know the Lord as a freshman, baptism seems to be the perfect bookend to my college career, as I graduate from the U of M this spring. As I continue onto the “real world” I want my baptism to be a reminder of the new, joy-filled life God has blessed me with and the Lord’s unwavering love for me.