I Let the World Decide
I let the world decide, dictate and define who I was. I let the world write my story. They told me I was flawed, a fake, never good enough, never enough. Teachers told me I wasn’t smart enough, friends said I wasn’t fun enough; the church said they just didn’t have enough room.
So I let the world decide that I wasn’t worthy.
I’ve spent too many days believing that if I wasn’t good enough for the world, I wasn’t good enough for God. With nothing to live for, living gets cold and empty. The sun didn’t come up for days – months. I counted the days to the next thing only to walk away just as empty and lost. Over time the pain of simply making it through was overwhelming. The world’s lies slowly numbed me from the inside out. I knew that there was more to this life, I simply didn’t know how to be enough to deserve it. I let the world decide I wasn’t enough for God.
But God says.
But God – those words drip with power that has changed the world, they have shaped its crevices, valleys and peaks. But God says my life matters. God says he loves me. He says I’m worthy; not because of what I have ever done or not done, but because of what He did on the cross. God said, and God always speaks truth.
He is the giver of amazing grace. He invited me to leave my simply-surviving-clock-punching-empty life to one that is filled with his grace and forgiveness. He gave me a seat at the table – His table. God doesn’t care what the world says; He doesn’t let the world decide. Because of God, because of his grace and love – I want my life to matter. I want to pursue in a grander vision. I want to leave a legacy, make an impact. But mostly, I want to spread his love and truth. I want to share the message that the world doesn’t have to decide, God gets to decide.
God decided that I am His child and because of that I want live as a reflection and product of his grace and glory.